Why I Joined "Be The Match"

I’ve encountered many people in my first 43 years of life who have battled cancer. My mom was the first; she had more than one while I was growing up. A cousin’s husband out east was the second. The third was the mother of a dear friend from high school; she passed away when he was 16 years old.

In the last few years alone I have known or crossed paths with several people who have succumbed to it. A singer songwriter named Katie Reider, who left behind her partner and children at age 30 after losing her sight in one eye and her ability to sing and perform her music. My daughter’s elementary school teacher (this affected my daughter deeply for quite awhile)…one of my son’s teachers from middle school…a favorite member of the church I used to attend…the list goes on. With each of these people I felt helpless to do anything about their suffering, their illness, or their loss.

I’ve only now come to realize the helplessness I felt was the same feeling I had when my mom was battling cancer: Same circumstances, same emotions…different person each time. Growing up, most of the details about my family members’ health struggles were kept among the adults – I only picked up pieces of conversation here and there. This only added to the feeling of helplessness…and isolation; I felt separate from another who was suffering, and not being permitted to share in the experience. Childhood is all about learning from experiences – I had learned, or become conditioned, into feeling helpless around cancer.

I started working in the IT department for the National Marrow Donor Program – the organization managing the “Be the Match” Registry – in March of this year. I don’t remember what event took place first: Starting the new job, or finding out my cousin is battling cancer. (Not the one whose husband had it when I was younger, but her sister.) I’ve spent a lot of time since in trying to understand the coincidence of it all. During this time I discovered that so few people know about this opportunity, compared to how many people could be helped. One of my supervisors told me that for every one person that the program has helped with facilitating a bone marrow transplant, six were on the waiting list who didn’t yet have a match.

As I pondered and meditated over this whole set of circumstances, I came to another realization. I’ve been blessed with good health most of my life, to the point that I’ve actually felt guilty around others who have not had that experience. (That contributed to part of my feeling of helplessness as well, I’ve come to find.) I’ve donated blood several times, and platelets once, and have never felt any ill effects. I’ve committed on my driver’s license to be an organ donor upon my death: Since I’m still using everything at the moment, this donation is on hold. :-) It finally made sense to me to take all this to the next level.

So now I’ve signed up with the Be The Match Registry at http://www.marrow.org/index.html to be a donor. As I’m not too proud to admit it, I’m going through a financial hardship right now. So I took advantage of their current drive to add donors: Signing up before June 22nd, I’m receiving my tissue-typing kit at no cost to me. I’ve decided that I’ll pay it forward for the next person when I’m back on my feet – they accept donations on their website to support such efforts.

[For the record, I'm not receiving any benefits from anyone at National Marrow Donor Program for sharing this with you. That's not my style. This is simply me feeling compelled to share an insight with you, knowing that someone else in the world feels the same way that I did. That's my understanding of how the Universe operates.]

For all the reasons I’ve have now for signing up in the Registry, the biggest one for me is entirely personal: I feel empowered. I don’t have to feel helpless around cancer any longer. I can do more than empathize or feel compassion for whoever I encounter who is suffering from this life-altering disease. I can actually offer hope for anyone who is waiting for a match now…and anyone in the future who may need that sense of hope. I like being able to do that.


Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. Namaste.